Shocking/Not Shocking: Most Bushwickians Have Only Seen La La Land & Not Moonlight, Scramble to Syndicated to Make Amends

February 28, 2017 Comments Off on Shocking/Not Shocking: Most Bushwickians Have Only Seen La La Land & Not Moonlight, Scramble to Syndicated to Make Amends 224 Film
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As the full effects of the Punk’d-esque aftermath of the Oscars are felt, Bushwickians everywhere are scrambling to mask the fact that, for as “progressive” as they claim to be, the vast majority of them have seen La La Land over Moonlight–and it certainly has nothing to do with distribution.

The race/sexuality war that politicized the Oscars

Though Syndicated will be showing Moonlight the first week of March, they’ve made their preferences clear by choosing to put Manchester by the Sea on their roster first, which is actually even whiter than La La Land. Moreover, no Bushwickian woman or “man” can resist the allure of Ryan Gosling in any film. He will always usurp any “black” movie in this regard. What can whitey say? It’s something about those duck lips. However, I can’t speak for Casey Affleck in this respect. Depends on if you have rape fantasies or not.

The snafu heard round Los Angeles

In any case, in the wake of its Best Picture win, blancs of Bushwick are dashing to see the film so as to feel as racially conscious and au courant as possible, leaving every showing except the March 13th, 9:20 p.m. one sold out. And of course they’ve chosen to pair it with I Am Not Your Negro on the same days, because heaven knows one can’t mix La La Land and Moonlight together.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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