Showtime on the L Train is All Fun and Games Until Somebody Gets Kicked in the Crotch

January 21, 2015 1 1173 News
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Regardless of the recent flurry of PSAs the MTA has been papering the subway with, they will never be able to get rid of showtime. After all, there are far too many bored, self-deluded youths to contend with in order to truly stamp all traces of train performance art out. And while the L train isn’t as rife with showtime participants as others, like the JMZ line, it’s still plenty hazardous when it comes to protecting your groin area.

The pre-crotch kicking phase of the performance

The pre-crotch kicking phase of the performance

In fact, it seems as though showtime has only become more ribald as the quest to ban it rages on. One of the most frequently seen acts on the L train, Illumined By Illuminati, a group of approximately four to six teenaged girls and boys who always perform the same choreography to, as cliche as it sounds, “Rhythm Is Gonna Get You” by Gloria Estefan, is the most highly sighted repeat offender of debilitating crotch kickings that have left the marginal percentage of the Bushwick working class utterly destroyed on a physical and emotional level.

Aftermath of man getting kicked in crotch

Aftermath of man getting kicked in crotch

The most recent victim to suffer a fatal blow from Illumined By Illuminati was nondescript web designer Mark Tame, a 32-year-old who was going about his business reading The New Yorker on his iPad when all of the sudden–right at the conga drum breakdown–Darren Rudeboi, the 17-year-old ringleader of the act, gave him a swift kick where it really counted. Tame is just one in an endless series of L train Bushwickians who may never be able to reproduce thanks to showtime. 

Written by Genna Rivieccio

 

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