It’s been rough going for Silent Barn ever since an expensive Williamsburg fart was accidentally released from the bag it was sold in, causing a fire that created expensive building damage. Indeed, it’s been in a crumbling state ever since the culprit responsible, Monique CeChic, has been frantically trying to raise the funds necessary to repair the havoc she wrought on the edifice.
In spite of many socialites‘ lack of contribution to the cause primarily due to wondering, “Now why in tarnation would I wanna donate to a barn?”, Silent Barn has not allowed a funding shortage to prevent musicians from performing according to their regularly programmed schedule. “We feel that most bands are so accustomed to shitty conditions from traveling on the road and generally being okay with a lower standard of hygiene that we just thought, you know, they really won’t care about not playing in a ‘nice’ place,” said Joel Scaymer, the booking agent who also helped start membership fees for the venue.
Unfortunately, the audience is not half as nonchalant about the falling pieces of ceiling and burnt aroma of the venue. “I couldn’t even enjoy the performance from my favorite band the Dirty Whores play because all this fucking debris was crashing down on me,” complained Silvia Bath, co-writer and co-actor of After the Party. And so, it would seem, if Silent Barn doesn’t fix their current location or find another one, local bands will have to subject to themselves to the embarrassment of playing to an empty room.
Written by Genna Rivieccio