Silent Barn Throws Outer Space Party Hoping Most Bushwickians Will Get Beamed Up to Make Way for Younger Generation

March 12, 2015 Comments Off on Silent Barn Throws Outer Space Party Hoping Most Bushwickians Will Get Beamed Up to Make Way for Younger Generation 431 News, Parties
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Joey Scaymer, the genius of Silent Barn booking who brought Bushwick the concept of Silent Barn memberships, has come up with the latest idea for one of the neighborhood’s first parties of the new season, Killer Babes from Planet Slut. Equal parts Ed Wood and Mars Attacks!-inspired, the event is expected to garner a lot of interest.

As we all know, "Outer Bushwick" means Ridgewood

As we all know, “Outer Bushwick” means Ridgewood

What many interplanetary-minded Bushwickians are not aware of is the fact that this entire party is being put on in the hopes that aliens will be attracted to the area and beam people up, Spice World-style. With the expected age group in attendance to be 25 and up, Tesla Embryo, the 16-year-old head of the Bushwick Committee of Ageism, is praying that “all these olds will get picked up and taken away by aliens ’cause it’s lookin’ real wrinkly round here lately.”

Beam up, Spice World-style

Beam up, Spice World-style

Embryo herself will not be attending, lest she be confused for an old among the herd. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t use my power of positive thinking to get the aliens to do my dirty work.” Any Bushwickians at over the hill status should resist all temptation of this party, including tarot readings, alien sex noise sound effects in the background and green-hued punch that’s actually pure absinthe.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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