Will it never be possible for youths and police personnel to get along? Based on the events of yesterday afternoon at Dun-Well Doughnuts off the Montrose stop, it seems unlikely. 23-year-old DeVonte Smug, recently released from jail after being sentenced at 18 for a crime undisclosed to The Burning Bush, was sitting in the corner of the establishment seemingly contentedly until a policeman, Officer Rod Woody, a 44-year-old with sixteen years of experience on the force, strolled in like he owned the joint.
This aura of confidence and entitlement immediately vexed Smug, who began texting 911 threatening emojis of a gun pointed at a police officer’s head. among other insinuating symbols. Woody received the texts via the 911 text dispatch and immediately bristled at the associated name that came up with it. “You see, the NYPD has every ex-convict’s number on file. If a convict texts us, the name associated with the number is going to show up. And I have the presence of mind to memorize every crime-committing face in this godforsaken neighborhood,” explained Woody.
Thus, Woody returned the text messages with equally foreboding imagery, including a knife stabbing the face emoji with a turban, as it’s the only ethnic emoji besides the Asian guy. The emoji war was ultimately won by Smug, who had a trump emoji app featuring a wider array of filthy icons to choose from. In the game that is emoji shade throwing, that’s score one for the civilian, score zero for the oppressor. Moreover, Bushwickians have once again proven that their skills in the art of storytelling via iPhone warrant them having their own area-specific emoji app.
Written by Genna Rivieccio