You may think that social media is just a part of everyday life–particularly if you work in an office–but in Bushwick, it’s the furthest thing from en vogue (the French phrase and the once successful 90s group). While norms in the Midwest are content to compare themselves to other people on Facebook or take selfies on haystacks on Instagram, Bushwickians don’t play that game–unless they’re misanthropes or megalomaniacs.
A recent study conducted by the Bushwick Committee of How People Spend Free Time found that 3 out of 4 people who use either Tumblr, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook or Twitter are diagnosed misanthropes or megalomaniacs. A further study concluded that 1 out of 4 people embodied the traits of both a misanthrope and a megalomaniac (watch out for those bitches).
The reason for this Bushwick anomaly? The Burning Bush talked to the head of the committee, Solange Knowles, to find out why most Bushwickians are so averse to using social media that most other people relish. “It’s a matter of carefully curating what’s seen and what isn’t. For example, you didn’t see me posting my scuffle with Jay anywhere, ’cause I didn’t want that part of my life to be on blast.” Even though Bushwickians carefully tailor what’s known about them, embellishing the fantasy versus the reality, there are occasional times when something unwanted is leaked–which is what their publicists are for.
In any case, the next time you find yourself trolling Facebook to see what people are doing or posing in front of the Forrest Point sign for your Instagram, The Burning Bush suggests you ask yourself the hard question: “Am I a misanthrope and/or megalomaniac?”
Written by Genna Rivieccio, misanthrope and megalomaniac