Tampons Declared Contraband in Grocery Stores Througout Bushwick

September 13, 2015 Comments Off on Tampons Declared Contraband in Grocery Stores Througout Bushwick 436 News
Share!

With C-Town’s shame-promoting method for buying tampons being the norm throughout most of Bushwick, is it any wonder that the Committee for Pretending Women Are Hairless, Periodless Blow-Up Dolls has finally decided to crack down on selling these blood-stoppers altogether?

No tampons allowed in Bushwick grocery stores

No tampons allowed in Bushwick grocery stores

The reason? “Women need to learn to control their bodily functions,” remarked Franz Nazee, head of the initiative. “The trashes and toilets of Bushwick are overflowing with these disgusting…apparatuses,” he concluded. “It was already enough of a struggle to find any kind of tampon in this neighborhood, let alone the convenience of getting a multi-pack. I would often have to go to myriad grocery stores just to find one that would sell it to me from behind the counter. And let me tell you, Food Bazaar wasn’t one of them. In fact, it was Mr. Kiwi, of all places.” remarked Kaytee Femminnizt, a 23-year-old who is one of the more recent additions to We the Femmes.

What Bushwick has

What Bushwick has

“This will not stand,” added current leader of the militant feminist group, Tara Tampone, a 25-year-old from Northampton, Massachusetts. “If the Committee for Pretending Women Are Hairless, Periodless Blow-Up Dolls thinks they’re going to get away with this, they’ve got another thing coming. We’ve got a little protest coming their way, and let’s just say it’s inspired by Carrie.” In the case of women against Bushwick, it seems there will be blood.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

Comments are closed.