The controversial $1,000 bagel might have raised eyebrows in Manhattan with its appearance at the Times Square Hotel in support of Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen (a strange way to ask someone to donate to charity indeed), but it hasn’t prompted any Bushwickians to bat so much as a pubic hair at the price tag.
Its exclusive debut to the neighborhood at Little Skips, still riding high on the success of the web series, Living on Beans, is a natural fit for the bagel, coated with its (Jessica) Alba white truffle cream cheese and goji berry infused Riesling jelly with golden leaves (yes, the rhyming sounds like your garden variety Bushwick “literature”).
“The bagel just seems like it’s right at home here. We know that a lot of people in luxury buildings in the area are all too happy to spend $1,000 a day on their breakfast if it means they’re getting something exclusive, which is hard to come by in a world where pretty much any asshole can move to New York and succeed,” commented barista mainstay Darrin Daruda, a 31-year-old who never thought he’d find himself working in service after going to the Sundance Lab for his screenplay back in 2011. Daruda concluded, “When all’s said and done, we can’t keep up with the demand, and even though Bushwick Social, with its already bourgeois takeout bags, has tried to horn in our monopoly on the product, the Times Square Hotel has thus far kept its promise to siphon off their goods solely to us.” Which means you’re going to want to quit your job in order to have the time to be able to stand in line to pay for this bagel.
Written by Genna Rivieccio