The Announcement of a New “Indian” Restaurant Causes An Uproar Among .005% of Native American Population

September 4, 2014 1 900 Politics, Restaurants
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Bushwick is generally known for being a fairly open and accepting place to coexist, but the recent presence of a sign advertising “Coming Soon Indian Kitchen” caused a few feathers to ruffle (wait, is that offensive?). The “Indian” kitchen in question is being opened by Malaat Ranjeet, a 44-year old from Quooklyn who has been saving up money to open the restaurant after years of a thankless, dull job as a computer programmer. 

The .005% population of Native Americans were outraged by the presence of this sign on Bushwick Avenue

The .005% population of Native Americans were outraged by the presence of this sign on Bushwick Avenue

Ranjeet assured The Burning Bush, “My sign was in no way intended to offend. There is not another word to address my culture apart from ‘Indian.’ I was not aware there was a Native American presence in Bushwick to offend.” Ranjeet could not have been more wrong, since, as any regular Burning Bush reader would know, Bushwick’s long, contentious past with Native Americans has resulted in, among other events, Tutu’s smelling like a dead body and Evergreen Avenue’s inability to become gentrified.

The ultra hipster-y representative for the Priheepster tribe

The ultra hipster-y representative for the Priheepster tribe

A representative for the Native American population descended from the Priheepster tribe responded to Ranjeet’s statement with, “He will know of our presence now.” We’re guessing that means everything that comes out of this Indian kitchen is going to taste like ash. But considering one of its few other competitors on Bushwick Avenue is Lil’ Brklyn, it still might have a chance. 

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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