If you have willingly sought Bushwick out as a living situation, you invariably harbor the delusion that you are either 1) a big deal or 2) going to become a big deal. You may have been somewhat saddened to find that everyone else living here harbors a similar ego to yourself, or you may have such a thick cloud of delusion surrounding you that you refuse to notice that you’re just like every other spotlight monger. Enter Dr. Shuteet Down, a 43-year-old Indian woman from Queens (not the Quooklyn side) and a psychiatrist specializing in eradicating symptoms of fame delusion.
Down began to notice the concentration of
artistic fame-whoring aspirations reaching a zenith in Bushwick about two years ago, but couldn’t save up enough money to rent out a small practice until now. And it seems she’s come barely in time, what with many Bushwickians hiring publicists in spite of doing absolutely nothing apart from some heavy drinking and light crack picking.
When Down spoke to The Burning Bush, she expressed that even though she knew there was largely no hope to curb the Narcissistic Personality Disorder running rampant in the area, she also couldn’t pass up the opportunity to somehow make money off of people’s guilt over feeling vaguely like self-aggrandizing assholes. Down is moving into a commercial space on Wyckoff Avenue, where she will charge $500 for a thirty-minute session that focuses on hypno and immersion therapy. This includes blacking out (whether through alcohol or meditation) and pinpointing the moment in your life when you first began to think you were someone special.
Written by Genna Rivieccio