Tiki Disco to Move to Rikers Island

May 20, 2014 2 5795 News, Parties

As you may have heard the shockwave over the Brooklyn-area internet today, Tiki Disco will no longer take place at Roberta’s. Creative differences between the two entities arose as early as two summers ago, and, with the event’s recent switch over to the Knockdown Center, it didn’t seem like Tiki Disco needed to pretend anymore (not that Tiki Disco is staying there either–they’re just too aloof to settle on one location).

Enjoying dance music in the garden area at Roberta's is a thing of the past

Enjoying dance music in the garden area at Roberta’s is a thing of the past

A large part of the schism was due to Tiki Disco becoming increasingly uncomfortable with how corporate Roberta’s allowed itself to become. After all, no one wants to enjoy the benefits of salvia while a baby in a stroller watches them. That can make for a harrowing experience. Sensing their clientele’s hesitancy about the ever-waning cool factor of Roberta’s, Tiki Disco made a quick–and temporary–switch to Queens.

Tiki Disco to Roberta's: Fuck pizza, give us drugs.

Tiki Disco to Roberta’s: Fuck pizza, give us drugs.

With summer just around the corner (can’t you almost feel the sun about to peek through the never-ending grey skies?), Tiki Disco needed to make a decision about the next, most logical venue for their illustrious event. The obvious answer: Rikers Island. Yolanda Goodtime, a spokesperson for the party, stated, “Not only is this environment a perfect fit for our party, but we’re also doing good for the community by showing inmates that a fun time doesn’t have to include anal penetration.” The Burning Bush refrained from countering that it usually does.

Debauchery is a natural fit for Rikers

Debauchery is a natural fit for Rikers

Goodtime was unable to give a straight answer on the possible ramifications of partygoers’ fraternization with prisoners. As The Burning Bush previously reported, Tiki Disco was briefly believed to be the original site of Sodom and Gomorrah–so we know things can tend to get ribald with this crowd. In any case, Tiki Disco’s consequences be damned attitude is sure to make for an interesting summer.

Written by Genna Rivieccio