As Pine Box has evolved into a full-fledged bro bar over the years, it’s a natural fit that Citizen Cider Brosé would make its way on tap there as the establishment does its best to remain relevant in an abyss of bars in this town fundamentally serving as one giant alcohol trough.
Thus far, the “brew” has been wildly popular with the bros crowding around the high-def TV to watch football players kneel even more gleefully in defiance of Trump. “We’re seeing a huge spike in sales ever since we brought the brosé in,” stated bar manager Farquad Douché, a 36-year-old with light experience at Brooklyn Brewery.
One regular patron pleased with the addition, Mark Smith, a 40-year-old low-level investment banker at a new company called Shillings in Williamsburg, expressed, “It’s just a great way to expand on the rosé and frosé trends that have been taking the neighborhood by storm–and it makes it a little more masculine to drink in public. Not that guys are really looking to bang these days and therefore how they look to women doesn’t really matter. Douché added, “We’ll show places like The Rookery and Idlewild who’s got the biggest cock in town when it comes to the rosé scene. Their broken machines can’t compete with our tap!”
Written by Genna Rivieccio