Trash Tornado Hits Bushwick, Leaves Behind More Trash, Possible Colony of Trash People

May 6, 2014 3 1530 News
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Surfing through trash on your skateboard or wading through it in your Bernhard Willhelm boots from Opening Ceremony is nothing new. But never before has the amount of trash in Bushwick been great enough to build the momentum for a massive tornado. The Burning Bush was at the scene earlier today to report on the cause and the aftermath.

Early incarnation of The Mamet tornado

Early incarnation of The Mamet tornado

The buildup of discarded Burger King wrappers, used condoms and beer cans finally reached a crescendo this “morning” around 1:43 p.m. (no Bushwick tornado rises before noon). The base of the tornado began somewhere near Knickerbocker and Himrod Street and continued to gain momentum as it headed for the Jefferson L stop.

More refuse

More refuse

Crashing into anything and everyone in it’s wake, some survivors are dubbing this tornado, The Mamet. As local musician and bar owner Timmy Temecula tried desperately to salvage the pieces of his guitar, The Burning Bush was able to get his take on the situation. “Trash is taking over. This is only the beginning.”

Is Bushwick destined to become an army of trash people?

Is Bushwick destined to become an army of trash people?

This sentiment seemed to be the general consensus as The Burning Bush spoke with another victim, Lydia Resilient. “This trash thing, it’s not gonna go away. Either we embrace it and become one with the trash, or we let it take us over.” This intimation about what The Burning Bush can only assume means dressing in and eating trash is both troublesome and inspired.

Waste not, want more

Waste not, want more

Should a trash colony develop in Bushwick, we’ll never have to end up on one “those lists” like Greenpoint or Williamsburg.

Written by Genna Rivieccio

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