Whether you wanted to be on lockdown or not during last night’s “historic” Winter Storm Juno, you had no choice thanks to the closure of roads and subways after 11 p.m. Thus, the only truly efficient way to make a dollar last night was as a die-hard weed delivery service person (usually a man).
A ragtag gang of rogue delivery men calling themselves Stoned Cold joined together on January 26th to do what they do best: give the people of Bushwick the weed they needed to survive through the night. This meant pooling together funds for bike chains, balaclavas and a steady stream of flasks filled with whiskey to go around. The result? Weed delivery men (because, let’s be honest, it’s always men–the gender inequality of weed delivery is an entirely different subject altogether) made, on average, $500 per delivery.
Mike Blunt, who made the most money last night at a remarkable $10,000, told The Burning Bush, “Man, if only there was a storm like this once a month. Then I would only have to work for twelve days out of the year.” Others The Burning Bush attempted to contact were too busy defrosting. In any case, it’s clear that drug dealers are the current patron saint of Bushwick.
Written by Genna Rivieccio