As the Morgan stop prepares to receive its first beauty-centric establishment, Wild Oleander, it’s only très naturel that, in keeping with the current trend in armpit hair, the forward-thinking (and hippy-dippy decor’d) establishment would offer the one thing that’s been missing from the neighborhood: armpit hair braiding services.
But, as with all things that you initially think are great, there are limitations. Mainly, you can’t just walk in with stubbly pits and expect Wild Oleander’s employees to work miracles with what little you have to offer them. As one of the specially trained armpit hair braiders, Mallorca Mallala, a 19-year-old from San Sebastian, remarked, “We require armpit hair length to be eight inches, just like any adequate dick.”
Moreover, the long-lasting, tight-holding braids Wild Oleander will concoct out of your pits don’t come at a necessarily “affordable” price, with the base price starting at $100 and going up from there depending on how stank ass the hair is. But you really can’t put a price on this level of self-care.
Written by Genna Rivieccio